If Your Birthday Is Today Change your morning routine!

Aries [March 21 - April 19]

You are going to meet a charming person that cares about you very much.

Taurus [April 20 - May 20]

If you want to get noticed, you need to be more than just a bologna sandwich.

Gemini [May 21 - June 20]

People are going to find you charming to the max!

Cancer [June 21 - July 22]

Sometimes, clothes make the woman!

Leo [July 23 - August 22]

Don't compete with the opposite sex.  Work together!

Virgo [August 23 - September 23]

Put your fate in the hands of someone else!

Libra [September 24 - October 22]

A relationship in your life may fail.  But just know that it wasn't meant to be...

Scorpio [October 23 - November 22]

When it comes to courting the opposite sex, be BRAVE!

Sagittarius [November 23 - December 24]

Don't be sad about being alone!

Capricorn [December 25 - January 19]

Don't be fooled by someone's delicious scent.  It's just a mask!

Aquarius [January 20 - February 18]

Enjoy some brainless entertainment!

Pisces [February 19 - March 20]

Don't judge people on their looks!


 

The Dope Blogoscope



The Good

Kanye West recently took to Twitter to apologize to Taylor Swift yet again. My favorite quote from the rant: "What's the point of dressing tastefully if I'm going to act the complete opposite?"

Good point. The opposite is also true. I hate it when people who have rude sayings on their T shirts act nice to me. It boggles my mind and causes me stress.

Keith Hunt  September 5, 2010

The Bad

A new Polaroid camera that Lady Gaga apparently designed is set to hit shelves next year. People over at Polaroid claim that "obviously, the design's pretty wacky."

Sigh! This is going to be to phones what loopy straws are to straws. Sometimes I just want a normal straw, you know? Maybe, when I'm feeling a bit adventurous, I can have one of those straws that bends a bit near the top, but nothing too crazy.

Keith Hunt  September 5, 2010

The Terrible

Drew Barrymore's new movie "Going The Distance" opened this weekend at a weak fifth place.

Nooo! I love Drew Barrymore, and I want her to be successful.

I will send good vibes her way. Oh, whoops, those good vibes missed her and hit Christina Ricci instead. I guess my mind confused the two because they're both hot in that round-head kind of way.

Keith Hunt  September 5, 2010

 

 



The Dope Politoscope





Give it a rest, McCain. Not everyone has owned a helicopter for their entire adult life, how is Obama supposed to know what's good and what's not?


-Tiffany Michelle Long.





At last... the Oscars were worth watching.



-Tiffany Michelle Long.







The only person you forgot to thank was Leo for the sex we're all sure you had with him moments before taking the stage.


-Tiffany Michelle Long.




On the conditions of the world, this is how the Dope Astrologer feels:

"We don't have time for coffee, tea, or milk... WE'RE DOOMED!!!"


-Tiffany Michelle Long... & Shelley Berman




It turns out that President Obama's top choice for secretary of health and human services is none other than Vice President Joe Biden...



-Tiffany Michelle Long






Most people don't have a camera in their face, capturing the moment when they realize... " Wow, this job SUCKS!"




-Tiffany Michelle Long




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