Completely Made-up Omens Which Will Probably Come True
Send E. Jean's
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Today's Horrorscope Wednesday September 8th |
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| Aries
[March 21 - April 19]
Want to meet people? THEN LEAVE YOUR EFFING HOUSE!
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Taurus
[April 20 - May 20]
Free yourself from your gender roles!!!
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Gemini
[May 21 - June 20]
Stop partying so hard. Return to innocence!!!
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| Cancer
[June 21 - July 22]
Something is about to make you FURIOUS!!! Try to be civil. |
Leo
[July 23 - August 22]
It is finally time to admit that you are wrong.
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Virgo
[August 23 - September 23]
The summertime is your time to shine. Make MAGIC happen before it's too late!
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| Libra
[September 24 - October 22]
Are people doing nice things for you? They may have ulterior motives.
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Scorpio
[October 23 - November 22]
Don't force people to do things if they do not want to do them.
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Sagittarius
[November 23 - December 24]
Even though you're addicted to bon bons and crappy foods, you still look amazing.
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| Capricorn
[December 25 - January 19]
Don't overreact, or you could end up in big trouble.
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Aquarius
[January 20 - February 18]
Small gestures can hurt someone greatly. |
Pisces
[February 19 - March 20]
Take advantage of those more fortunate than you.
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The Dope Blogoscope:
A Quack Recommends the Best and Worst of the Blogosphere
The Good
Andrew Garfield recently spoke about playing SpiderMan, saying that he is doing it for "any skinny boy basically who wishes their muscles matched their sense of injustice."
That's me! I go to bed every night hoping that a radioactive steroid will bite me in my sleep.
Keith Hunt September 6, 2010
The Bad
Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez were recently spotted cheering on the Notre Dame University football team.
That's great and all, but I bet you'd never see them sitting in on a Notre Dame University class, cheering on students as they write their exams. Stop favoring athletics over academics, you young whippersnappers!
Keith Hunt September 6, 2010
The Terrible
Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam brought in huge ratings this Labor Day weekend. In fact, it is now the most watched cable movie for 2010.
This makes me feel old and out-of-touch because I have no idea what Camp Rock is. Is it that internet game that the youth nowadays play where you have to keep the Jonas Brothers alive and happy by feeding them and taking them out for walks?
Keith Hunt September 6, 2010
